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Evan Þ's avatar

I think a large part of the problem is that we've reduced spaces for public interaction, and shamed people away from interacting with children in the ones that still do exist. It was only recently, when several of my friends had babies, that I realized how cute babies are - because until now, I've been looking on from a distance at most! I wouldn't be surprised if this's even more acute for women; I was just on a date with someone who was joking that she got baby fever when she started volunteering in the church nursery.

Plus, reduced spaces for public interaction makes it harder for people to find a mate, as many other writers have said.

Dacyn's avatar

-"Fifty or sixty years ago I expected computer technology to make it easier to find a compatible mate just as it makes it easier to find books or articles or the fastest route to where you are going; for reasons I do not entirely understand, that has not happened."

I always thought it was because mate finding is a two-sided problem: computers may expand your mating pool (which is good for your mating prospects), but they also expand the mating pool of anyone who you might want to mate with (which is bad for your mating prospects). The appropriate analogy would not be finding books or articles or routes, but things like housing search and job search. And my experience is that it is still quite annoying to find houses or jobs even with the help of the internet... the equilibrium seems to be a pattern where the two parties to the potential transaction make a series of tokens of commitment that start out small but ideally grow until they reach the point of dating / leasing / hiring. Since the other party can back out at any time until the final commitment, the result can be demoralizing to a party who put in a lot of effort into the preliminary stages.

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